Do you ever have those weeks you look forward to in anticipation of something but then before you know it you are left on the floor picking up all the pieces wondering what went wrong?
I started this week feeling strong. The past couple weeks God has been teaching me to trust in him, to lean on him and rely upon his strength. When I have, things have gone much better for me. My downfall is that when things start go wrong to the point of mental exhaustion I tend to seek answers and try to fix it myself, giving myself a false sense of control. I wonder why I feel the way I do especially when I started out feeling so positive. This leads to confusion, guilt, worry, blame and…that is when the downward spiral begins, at that point I have lost my reliance on God and my shoulders are not big enough to bear the weight of it all. The storm sets in.
When the storm hits, the greatest challenge for me is not so much the storm itself, its not having answers to why it came or where it came from. Especially when life around me seems to be fine. There is no one to blame (not even myself or circumstances) and I have no answers….I just feel lost. Then I realize, “I have been here before” and its terrifying. My mood drops, simple daily tasks feel like mountains to climb and life goes dim. Hours feel like days, days feel like months. It is like a shadow is cast on only me and I have lost the light to find my way. My suffering may only be a day or two, maybe more but it feels like forever.
Through these many storms I have discovered true peace comes when I focus on Jesus and not on my circumstances. It comes when I surrender it all to him instead of relying on myself. Instead of seeking answers, so that I am in control, I need to seek refuge in Him. But what about when prayers aren’t answered and darkness prevails? or when I try to focus on Him but I can’t? Its like he is just out of my reach, I know he is there but I can’t quite grasp his hand to pull me out from the storm. I begin to Suffer in Silence because I have been here before and I don’t want to admit I am here again.
This storm has taught me the most valuable lesson that I will NEVER forget. This time around I have learned that I am not supposed to Suffer in Silence. God did not design us to be alone in the storm. As followers of Christ, we are designed for community and when we are united we are STRONG. When we are under attack or feeling far from God, lies can come in which make us feel like we are alone. They make us feel like our problems or concerns aren’t as bad as others and that we shouldn’t bother people. But that is not true. We are called to pray for one another. Praise God I didn’t give into these thoughts and instead I sought out prayer warriors. Their prayers lifted me up to a place that I could grasp onto the hand of my saviour. I slept peacefully and the storm died down.
Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.
James 5:16
Praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints,
Ephesians 6:18
No matter what you may be facing, you are not alone! Please DON’T Suffer in Silence, I am sure there is one person out there who would love to pray for you, who would love to be let in and help you carry your burdens. Most of all we are promised that Jesus will carry our burdens. Even if we don’t feel him, He is always there. The best piece of advice I got was to just rest and stop analyzing. I had to give myself the freedom to rest in his arms.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Matthew 11:28-30
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Be encouraged, don’t just focus on the wind and the waves of your storm. Instead, build your community in love and trust so that when a storm comes your way you will have them as a lighthouse who, in prayer, shines the light on Jesus so you can grasp his hand through the storm.
~Escape with Love into the loving arms of Jesus!
-Whit
Escape With Love 